We all know the typical scenario because we’ve all been there. You get into an argument with another person, maybe your hands are shaking a little; you’re replaying the events over and over again in your mind thinking of what they said and what you should have said; you call a friend or ten to tell them about the big event, to hash it out and reinforce that you were right; and it is your focus.
Now think to a time when you’ve seen dogs meeting or playing. They run out into the dog park, ready to face the new adventure of new friends and play times! Here comes a great big dog, ready to play “I’m going to chase you down and pounce on you because I am dominant”. This is generally a pretty scary event, one that rightfully merits a show of dominance back. Up go the hackles, down goes the tail, ready to communicate some aggression back, ready to establish the pecking order before playtime. Whatever form of hierarchical shuffling needs to happen ensues, and then both dogs continue on their merry way (maybe playing together or parting ways), taking one last moment to shake off their hackles. As simple as that!
Is it possible for us humans to take a cue from our canine friends? Can we learn to shake off our hackles just as simply and easily? I say yes! If it comes to the point of argument, then get it out, say what needs to be said, write down what you need to write down (like a forgiveness letter), consider what good came of that argument, and then LET IT GO. Do whatever you need to do to shake it off. If that means meditating, going for a run, or stepping out for some deep breaths, then do it! Mentally even see yourself taking a big shake and releasing those emotional hackles.
As Buddha said “holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.” So the next time you are angry and following the same old scenario, pause and considering taking a new approach to it this time!
I wish you much luck in this, along with much happiness and many smiles!
Dynamic Massage Works